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Selecting a Spouse

One’s choice of spouse exerts the single most profound impact upon one’s relationship with the Divine.
One’s choice of spouse is therefore of monumental, eternal significance.
One’s choice of spouse should be informed by clarity as regards the purpose of marriage, which is identical to the purpose of life: To Witness His Majesty. We do not exist to attain financial security or to go on holiday every three months. Rather, our purpose is to come to know the Perfection of His Creation, living in a condition of overwhelming gratitude. Your spouse will be your partner on that journey, either pointing out the astounding beauty that surrounds you in every moment, or wailing a toxic lament caused by an inaccurate, myopic interpretation of the universe. Effectively, you will be pickled in your spouse’s worldview. Think carefully.
One’s choice of spouse must be motivated by a desire to accompany the chosen soul until death. Marriage is not a temporary solution by which sexual frustration is released. This cheapens the deeply sacred physical union made appropriate by marriage. Demonstrate greater nobility than that.
One’s choice of spouse should transcend mere physical attraction. While unquestionably significant, the potential spouse’s outlook, mindset, and most importantly relationship with The One all trump corporeal forms. True beauty is found in hearts, not in Instagram photos.
One’s choice of spouse should be up-lifting. Your spouse must elevate you, display characteristics that you respect, and be viewed as your teacher. All but the strongest of characters will imbibe much of their spouse’s inner-condition by osmosis. Whether for better or for worse, your spouse will teach you about life. Ponder carefully the nature of that lesson.
One’s choice of spouse deeply impacts upon your legacy. Your relationship will with His Will bear fruit. Your children will adopt the worldview and priorities of your spouse. You will bring a mini-replica of your spouse into existence by His Leave. Consider the impact this will have upon the universe.
If your chosen spouse demonstrates little respect for the Saints, then expect little respect to be demonstrated towards you. They evidently suffer from a lack of clarity. Prepare to struggle.
One’s choice of spouse should evaluate the potential spouse’s character today, as it is in this moment. It is inevitable that changes in outlook and maturity levels will take place during the course of a marriage, or at least it would certainly be hoped so. However, the chances that a human will make a 180 degree about-turn following marriage are paper-thin. You must marry the spouse that you feel comfortable with today, as you could be married tomorrow.
Having said all of this, one’s choice of spouse should be made trusting entirely in Allah Almighty. Sometimes, the best of marriages are the most turbulent, for they teach both spouses how to overcome their egos in favour of the interests of the other. If, after a few months of marriage, you find within yourself the desire to storm out and never come back, remember that at the core of our faith is the belief that nothing ever occurs by chance, least of all marital union. Marriage is designed to sand down your rough edges and shine light into the dark corners of one's soul. He will choose the most perfect spouse for you, even if you find that person deeply challenging. There is something hidden in every marrital relationship that is required for the awakening of both spouses, a lesson that must be learnt, an insight that must be discovered. Seek them out and grow. That is the purpose of marriage.
And all success is from Allah.

Comments

  1. Unknown30 April 2020 at 09:21

    Salam alaikum. I needed to talk in this regard to someone with knowledge. Could you please talk to me.

    ReplyDelete

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